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| **FEELING YOUNG, GETTING OLD** |
| 04.28.08 (4:56 pm) [edit] |
Not so long the thought of aging was a frightening reality I preferred not to face, but as time had passed so have the fears. To me becoming old meant that my physical activities would be curtailed, my memory would start to fade and I would become thin and frail and relatively useless to myself and everyone else also. At the age of 53 I still find that I am still very young at heart and physically not that out of shape to begin with. Although to some extent the old phrase "you are as young as you feel" is true, it is more so psychologically than physically because sometimes your body will not respond so quickly as when you are younger or at least that is the way it appears to me. Sometimes when I awake in the morning I re-discover muscles I knew I never had and just the soreness is enough to make me not want to get out of bed. Having been somewhat of an athlete in my youth I find this a bit embarassing to admit and sort of makes me "washed up" as one. It is really strange to think that whenever I play a "pick-up" game of basketball or baseball I still think that I am able to do all the things I use to do, until the following morning arrives with every muscle in my body screaming for relief of any kind. Sometimes I ache so much even my hair "hurts". I don't know if I am going to grow old "gracefully" but one thing I know for sure it will not be graciously. I intend to go "fighting, kicking and screaming" all the way to the grave so what's a little pain among friends right! For an old guy like me fantasy is thought of much easier now than when I was younger. You see, back then what I did on the court or the diamond was like sort of living out my fantasy now and as much as I may feel bitter at getting old sometimes well that is I guess what they call life and that I can deal and live with!
& nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; & nbsp; &n bsp; &nb sp; &nbs p; ; TIMM17 |
| 2 Comments |
| **TO JUDGE IS TO BE JUDGED** |
| 04.26.08 (1:02 pm) [edit] |
|
Good Morning All:
This morning I went through
my usual wake up routine of
drowning myself in a gallon
of Decaf in order to just wake up. With my mind still
in deep freeze from a restless night's sleep, I quickly realized that it would have been my fathers' 99th birthday had he still been alive. You know I don't know why it is
but everytime this date rolls around I become very edgy and my nerves are frayed at the thought of my father.****
Being raised partially by
him and many other pseudo-
father figures I really did not know the man as well as I thought I did. I am quite hesitant to curse
him for being my biological father because I have ben raised not to speak ill of the "dead". It is not even so much what a lousy parent he was that truly bothers me but more so the fact that this man was married twice and in both instances walked away from both families and never returned. Both marriages consisted of 4 children each and the timing of his departure in both were no doubt planned.
In both cases the oldest child in each family was no more than 15 years of age while most of the other were less than 10 years of age. My opinion is no doubt somewhat bias but the facts certainly are not.****
Now that I find myself still awaiting contact from my son after 32 years
(his mother contacted me about 2 weeks ago for the first time) I have been riddled with waves of guilt about my son and us losing contact for so long.I don't believe this is a case of "like father like son" and the circumstances are entirely different, yet why do I feel the way that I do. Perhaps I should not be so harsh in judgement of my father because really who am I to judge anyone! Have a great day everyone and thanks for listening!
Timm17
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| 4 Comments |
| ** WHO IS THE FIFTH? (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA) ** |
| 04.25.08 (2:37 pm) [edit] |
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Well tonoght on television will be the 3rd episode of the final season of Battlestar Galactica and as usual they are leaving the viewer hanging by a thread in anticipation of what is going to happen next. There are two(2) central issues of the series in this 4th and "final" season and that is to deal with who is the last of five(5) Cylons(bad guys) that will be named and does the colonial fleet fined planet Earth!****
Of the remaining five the four(4) who were revealed un the first episode this season were the "chief" head of all maintenance on the "Galactica", the "Colonel" second only in command of the military to "Adama", "Tory" the President's assistant and Kara's(Starbuck) husband a fighter pilot. Now whoever is the fifth and final Cylon is anyones' guess and the writers do keep you guessing indeed.****
Could the fifth Cylon possibly be Gaeta, The President herself, the mad scientist turned newly annoited "Messiah" Baltar, Lee Adama the military commanders' son or perhaps even "Kendra" who was the main character in the movie "Razor" which was part of the Battlestar Galactica "agenda". Yes, who really knows. It might even be you! It is on at 10:00P.M. Eastern Time so see you on the couch!
Timm17
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| 2 Comments |
| **WHAT MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND?** |
| 04.23.08 (12:00 pm) [edit] |
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Last night I was engaged in a conversation with an
associate of mine about what he thought "made the
world go round" and as I expected he replied that
it was money. Well knowing this fellow and his affinity for the "greenback" it came as no big shock that he would say this. Another
member of the "council"
offered up "love" as being
the instrumental key in
what makes the world go round.Just as we were about to call it an afternoon we were joined
by two(2) other friends
who were more than happy to voice their opinions on
what kept this planet
spinning around.****
One of them a woman, whose
views on just about everything were well known to us all weighed into the conversation by exclaiming that it was the family unit that dictated how this earth of
ours revolved. Her friend
supported her comment and
she to felt the issue was
not all that important to
really give an opinion about. Another member of the "inner circle" even
suggested that "war" was
perhaps the most unifying
thread that held us altogether. Normally I
would usually think such a statement "insane" but I had to remember that the conversation was intially made with the idea that there was really no right or wrong answer to what made the world go round****
Tell me what do you think makes this "old world go round"! I would be most interested in what you have to say and keep in mind there is really no right or wrong answer to this question okay, at least for the moment. Take care, be well and adios for now!.....LPH!
Timm17
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| 2 Comments |
| **TRAVELING BACK** |
| 04.19.08 (10:33 pm) [edit] |
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This evening after being e-mailed by a friend of mine(betcha thought I was lonely eh!) I started to think about where if I had my choice were would I want to go to visit on this planet. Myself,as a child I traveled extensively with my father and my other brothers throughout the globe and by the time I was 17 I was "traveled out" pretty much.
There were things that I witnessed as a youngster that one only sees in the movies and other situations
that would be then and even
now beyond expression. As a child I saw war in all its' harsh reality, yet because I was so young I still can remember kind of looking at it and thinking
it all seemed like a dream.
I remember seeing mountains so high that even on the clearest of days you could not see their peaks.
Many people who have known me and seen the peoples and the places that I as a child saw have often wondered why their parent or parents would drag their children around on such a journey(s). I have seen animals and aquatic life that one can usually see in a National Geographic volume, and have seen rainforests with their canopies so thick the sun could not filter one ray through this roof for a canopy.
Most people who are familar with my familys' traveling exploits rarely have questioned why for the longest time I would not even venture across the street without becoming exhausted. The very thought of traveling to some foreign land is not as appealing as it once may have been, but lately I have re-discovered
my traveling "itch" once again and in a short while I will be off to another "spot" where even the temperatures cannot be trusted or counted on.
So in hindsight I would like to ask anyone who is interested where if you had the chance, would you want to go to visit that you know the likelihood of being there one day is utterly remote? Adios for now!
Timm17
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| 3 Comments |
| ****SEASONS CHANGE SO DID I **** |
| 04.18.08 (3:02 pm) [edit] |
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Fires slowly simmer, as the
moon its' colors time to
change, the howls of the wolves****
Winds that whistle a coming
tune of frost, as snow awaits another blanket to cover terra firma****
Heart of ice, timed to be melted through rays of hot light to turn from white to olive green****
Paths along a river to only be revealed, by your melting scan long and yet nearer to me ****
Yesterdays' leafs wash away their present shade from ash to mint, from death to life****
Seasons shall change, so must I to go forward to enjoy a song of the winds,
adios fair seasons**
Timm17
Copyright-2008
Windsong Press
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| 2 Comments |
| THE STRESS OF NOT KNOWING! |
| 04.17.08 (12:33 pm) [edit] |
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Good morning to all and I just have a further up-date to the situation with
my son.****
Over the past week I have been in steady contact with
my sons' mother and have yet to hear from my son as of this moment yet. As I
have discovered my son is up in Northern Alberta and
is currently working on a
major pipeline that is being built up there. He is
in a very remote part of the province where he is apparently so isolated that
he does not have immediate
access to to a phone or even the internet and sometimes it may be days or very rarely even weeks before anyone hears from him!****
Well as I must accept the circumstances as they currently are, it has done very little for the stress that I feel waiting in anticipation of talking with him for the first time
and perhaps even seeing him
for the first time also.
In situations like this many things have gone through my mind, as to what
I will say to him. I find myself at times rehearsing
what I will say to him in
response to certain general questions he may ask of me but this is unlike me and it feels very unnatural. Who knows what questions he may have of me. Since there is really no way of knowing this perhaps I should ease up on berating myself and
maybe this shall ease the tension and stress for all concerned.****
Well folks that is all for this day and thank you for all your attention and support.Take care all and adios for now!
Timm17
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| 1 Comments |
| **I May Be Found** |
| 04.13.08 (4:37 pm) [edit] |
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Good Day to All
===============
In order to read or see my blog, you will have to go to the "Arts and Humanities
Section" or when you go to my tblog.site just click on whatever month it may be and presto like magic, my blog shall appear,
Thank you
=========
Timm17
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| 4 Comments |
| **They Were Lost and Now I am Found** |
| 04.12.08 (2:30 pm) [edit] |
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Earlier this morning at 4:00 A.M. I received an e-mail asking me if I was a
person with a particular name. I replied to this e-mail very briefly and also asked as to what connection
they were to me.Well after reading her second e-mail
it became quite obvious to me who it was. As it turns out it was a woman who I had had a romantic interlude with some 33 years ago(Yes 33 years).
Apparently she had been trying to locate me for all those years and just a few days ago found me on the internet sight "Face-
Book". Well as I re-read her second e-mail still stunned by her finding me all those thoughts that usually accompany such surprises as this came
flooding back to me! You see, what made this even
more astonishing is the fact that she was the mother of my only child and all those years ago she had just disappeared
off the face of the planet.
Although I spent many years
in search of both of them I was not successful in locating either one of them. As the time rapidly passed by, I continued to pursue trying to find them
and to no avail. I find my search for them very heartbreaking and the more I searched the farther it seemed they were getting away from me. I was always
left wondering where were
they and what were they doing and of course this just made it more difficult on myself. I've always had a "knack" of making my own circumstances
worse, and thereby being
able to pity myself even more. Is that not pathetic or what, never mind me admitting such a thing.
Now as I await her return e-mail, I feel as if I am a drowning man asking for a glass of water just before going "under". What does a person say after not hearing from someone in 33 years.Better yet, how does one explain a lifetime of absentism to a son who wondered what happen to his father!
Although I was only a teenager at the time when my son was born, that does not absolve my diapperance for all these years. To a son and his mother what explanation would suffice and the answer to that is "none! All a child wants to know is why in his opinion did I abandon him and his mother as well!
Although his mother and I are quite aware that it was she who pulled a "disappearing" act all that time ago, I cannot find her at fault in the very least.
Now as I sit at the computer writing this unbelievable "story" so many things goe through my mind as to how to approach this situation and try to see it logically through. What is the right thing to say to both of them and what I shouldn't say could be just as equally important. In a time when only the truth will do, I find myself looking for ways to circumvent it. Not that anyone is really interested in what I have written, but there will no doubt there will be a Part-2 to this so until then thanks for taking the time to read it if you do, and adios for now!
Timm17
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| 5 Comments |
| **Is Love Really That Simple?** |
| 04.09.08 (3:47 pm) [edit] |
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Just recently I had the unfortunate or fortunate
(I am not sure yet) experience to witness the disintegration of a close friend of mines' marriage
after being together for almost twenty-two(22)years.
Their outwardly appearance
seemed to make them the
seemingly perfect couple
with the beautiful home, the three(3) great looking
children and the two(2)car
garage but all was not well
in the Royal Court! For the longest time there was never one "iota" or indication of any major difficulties between them,
and being as close as I was to the both of them, one would think I would have noticed something not right.
Even the children showed no
signs whatsoever of anything amiss because they seemed so well adjusted to each other and their surroundings. It was only a short time ago when we were all living and laughing together as friends and now I could feel the strain and stress from not only their marriage coming apart but also our intimate friendship as well. As I
expected both of them came to me separately for counsel as to what they could do to "reconcile" what differences that originally created such distance between them.
Now being the private person that they assumed I
was to them, they asked me
to keep their discussion with me confidential in its' entirety which of course I would have anyways.Feeling that I was about to be placed in harms' way if I did offer up any solutions I made the difficult decision to
not participate in assisting them in settling their differences. I just felt that if anything went errant between them due to any influence from my advice then I would pay heavy consequences for just being a friend, and I was not about to play that
"tune" again.(been there, done that....no thank you).
After withdrawing from possible calamity I now feel tremendous guilt for not being there for them or either one of them individually and of course now my relationship with both of them is on the skids! Should I attempt to enter into this scenario again to "save" my friendship with them or should I just "move" on to other friendships? What would you do or better yet what do you think?
Timm17
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| 2 Comments |
| **MONDAY TO SUNDAY** |
| 04.07.08 (11:51 am) [edit] |
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MONDAY- The first day of the work week and the most hated day on the calendar for those who partied too much over the weekend!
TUESDAY- This is the day where people who partied over the previous weekend
are just starting to come
around.
WEDNESDAY- Ah the middle of the week and just two (2) more days to go to get another huge hangover.
THURSDAY- One day closer to payday and another closer to relaxing those weary bones of yours.
FRIDAY- The day all of us have been waiting for and wishing it would have come sooner. The party begins and Hangover No.4476 is on its' way.
Saturday- You awake with just a slight twinge of a headache and chalk it up to par for the course and you get yourself ready for another day of drinking and vomitting.
Sunday- The day of rest for all those people who drank to much or smoked to much dope. Setting their sights on another Monday!
just doesn't sound all that worth it to me! How about you!
Timm17
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| 4 Comments |
| Attention Fellow Bloggers! |
| 04.06.08 (12:41 pm) [edit] |
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To All My Fellow Bloggers
========================= =
I am once again having difficulty posting my blogs
so for the time being all my blogs will be posted
on the "Arts and Humanities
Section okay. Thank you and good blogging!
Timm17
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| 2 Comments |
| **There is a Choice** |
| 04.02.08 (12:18 pm) [edit] |
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Well here it is April 2 and
I have just survived another winter blizzard up here in the north. With the wind chill factor it is about -16 Fahrenheit,far
from where I would like it to be. This winter has been particularly extreme
in it's cold temperatures
and strong winds. Although we have experienced what is considered "not the usual" weather" we are not the only ones who have had to deal with the "natural" elements like this.
The climatic changes on our planet have now shifted to the polar cap regions and as the ice melts at record rates our
supply of fresh water on this earth is quickly diminishing also. By the turn of the 21st century we
shall look around one day and ask "What happened and what went wrong" as we see that the fresh water supply has gone by way of the dinosaur!
Is it really to late to alter what seems to be at this point the inevitable scenario where the population of our planet becomes one big 'THIRST' with no possibility of quenching it? I for one certainly would rather think that there is something that can be done . These so called skeptics who believe there is no problem that exists with respect to "global
warming" even now with all the evidence indicating that global warming does exist, still continue to close their eyes and deny this!
I sincerely and honestly
believe that unless we can
eliminate these skeptics' agendas and yes they all have agendas I would have to admit that the likelihood of getting a handle on this environmental nightmare is slim to none. What do you think?
Timm17
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| 2 Comments |